Today's Verse

Monday, April 27, 2009

They Want How Much?

For you first time readers (I am sure I have SO many), or for those of you that live under a rock and don't pay very much attention to me, I live in Texas and am very proud of that fact! I am about as Texan as they get. And so are most of my family and friends. We don't think much of the way we talk and live until we are talking to some foreigner (Ooops, sorry. For you non-Texans, those are people in another state not another country!)

And Saturday night, my friends and I got a real good laugh out of talking to one such person!

Frank and I had gone to fish a tournament at O.H. Ivie. We left Saturday to spend some time with friends. It was late, about 8 (Hey, that's late when you have to get up early!) and we were giving Nina our breakfast order for Sunday morning when one of our friends came in asking if anyone had something to open up a locked truck. Uh oh! Someone (not sure who) had inadvertently locked the doors when they got out and the keys (including the spare) were inside the truck! Oh, my heart really did go out to them because any type of vehicle trouble is just a pain! A big ol' pain in the side!

Luckily, someone did have a tool that is supposed to pop that lock right open. I guess if you used it on a daily basis, you could do this. Not if you use it only once every year or so! I think there were about eight of us standing around in the parking lot watching the excitement (it doesn't take a lot to entertain a bunch of tired anglers!).

After about 30 minutes, I remembered I have roadside assistance on my cell phone. So I call. Have any of you out there tried to give an address at a lake to someone who is several states away from you? Not an easy task. Especially if you are out in the middle of no where! It all started easily enough -

He - "Roadside Assistance. How may I help you?"

Me - "We have a truck with the keys locked in it."

He - "Oh, no problem. I can definitely help you. Wow! Sounds like you are having a party. What is your cell phone number?"

Me - "No party, just a bunch of anglers after a long day. My number is 3##-###-####"

He - "Is this Mrs. Mixon?"

Me - "Yes."

He - "Are you with the vehicle that is locked out?"

Me - "Yes."

He - "Are you in a safe location?"

Me - "Yes." When what I really wanted to say was "it all depends if this going to take long? Will it make a difference in time?" which I will regret not saying later!

He - "What type of vehicle?"

Oh, my - this goes on forever! By the time we get to the address, he could pick out this vehicle from a line up! And what exactly does the color and rear wheel drive have to do with the keys being locked in the ignition?

Several questions later, just to make sure it is me on my cell phone, he asked me - "What is the address where you are located?"

So now the fun begins! Me - to David "Hey, what's the address out here?"

David - "### FM Road ###, Millersview, TX"

Me to operator - "### FM Road ###, Millersview, TX"

Typing and long pause...

Operator - "Um, Ms. Mixon. I'm sorry, but there is no Millersview, TX showing on my map"

Me - "Where are you?"

He - "I'm in western Kentucky."

Oh no! We are going to be here all night!

Me - "OK. Can you pull up just a town?"

He - "Yes."

Me - "Try Valera."

He - "No"

Me - "Voss?"

He - "No"

Me to everyone standing around - "Is there anything closer than Ballinger that might show up on his map?"

Everyone - "NO"

Me to operator - "Try Ballinger."

He - "Yes, here it is."

Me - "Can you see landmarks on your map?"

He - "Yes."

Me - "Do you see O. H. Ivie Reservoir?"

He - "YES!" (ok, I mistakenly think we are getting somewhere.)

Me - "Do you now see Millersview?"

He - "No, but I see a Leeday!"

Oh My!

Me - "How old is your map?! Leeday has been underwater ever since they finished the dam in 1992! But! We are about two miles south of that!"

He - "Would you happen to be on Park Rd. 11?"

Me to David - "Are we on Park Rd. 11?"

David - "Yes" (Cheers from the crowd!)!

Me to he - "Yes"

He (laughing) - "Sounds like you are having a great party."

Me - "No. No party. No one has had a drink! Just a bunch of anglers ready to get to bed!"

He - "Now that we know where you are, give me just a minute to locate someone to come help you."

Lovely music starts in my ear, and we are discussing the odds of them getting the lock popped before he even gets back on the phone. Glad I didn't get in on that because...

He - "Mrs. Mixon, I have located someone in Coleman that can be out in about an hour and half and it will be $75.00 out of pocket."

Me - "I thought this was covered as part of my roadside assistance?"

He - "Only up to $50.00."

Me - "You mean to tell me that some yaw-who is going to take an hour and a half to drive the 15 minutes from Coleman then charge us $75.00 for two seconds worth of work?"

A few seconds of stunned silence from the crowd, then a bunch of "We can push him down there by hand if we have to... $75?! Are they nuts?" and lots of other useless comments from the crowd.

He - "Sounds like a really good party."

Me - "I told you, no party! We are just tired from a long day and we have another long day tomorrow!"

He - "Of partying?"

Me - "NO!! No parties! Just fishing! Thank you for your time and please update your map!"

And we found a guy in Ballinger to come out for $50 and he was there in 45 minutes! Man! Am I going to have a chat with AT&T!


Darlene said...

I have sooo many comments popping in my head right now i can not stand it but the bigg one is to the guy in KY ..."HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!" LOL that was soo funny !!! i can not even begin to tell you how much that made my day . thanks for a good ol he haww laugh i needed it today !!!!

ttyl !!

Julie said...


I remember once I was calling the phone company about something or another, and they asked me the address, then proceeded to tell me my house didn't exist. I said something to the effect of, "Funny, because 6 people live here AND this is the same address where you send my phone bill each month." HA - gotta love modern technology! People used to just take your word for it.

Shellmo said...

Omigosh - I would've been so frustrated!! My favorite question that roadside assistance usually asks is "are you in a safe place?" - one time i said no and they proceeded to say "okay, it'll be about 2 hours before he's there." Umm I said i wasn't in a safe place!!! LOL!

Jan said...

What a story! I can certainly see how you could be out in the "boonies" and someone have trouble finding you. I'm surprised the responding agent wasn't in India - lol!