This Is My Families Idea of Healing

August 21,2012

I am still healing, and I'm sure most of you are bored with those updates by now;

   I woke up
   I healed
   I emptied these balls
   I had supper & walked.
   Good night.

YAWN!!!

Part of my healing process has been my cousin and an iPhone app she promises to give me later (you better not forget Trina Lou!). Every day, at least once a day, starting on my first day after surgery, she texts me a cute little video

of a sock puppet

a pig sock puppet!!!

Each video is around 30 seconds long, and is usually a song, or joke, including boob humor! That's just how we roll in my family!!!

Here is her first installment, sent to me at 7:30 AM, the first morning after my surgery. (I guess she knew there was no danger of waking me up that early in a hospital!),

Talk about put a smile on my face! It certainly did!

And a bit later in the day, I got this gem...

I can't say it enough! I have the best family ever!!!

And it's working, I am healing up great!

Except for these balls!!

It's all going to be OK!

Until next time, God bless!

Monday!

August 20, 2012

I can't believe this marks a full week, seven days, since I had my surgery. My emotions have changed so much in that short amount of time. I think before the surgery, I just wanted to get that horrible beast cancer out of me, even though it meant going through  surgery. I did not want to do that but what option did I have? I worked myself up so much just thinking about the surgery that the cancer really wasn't what was scaring me. I can't tell you the feeling of peace I had when I woke up knowing it was over.

I can't believe I have been walking around with these stupid tubes hanging out of me for seven days! Oh they are such a pain. But I know they are just temporary, a transitional time in my life and that soon they too will be gone.

I can't believe that I have looked in the mirror for seven days and seen the scars of my surgery and no boobs and it doesn't bother me. I just knew the first time I saw them gone that I would cry, but I didn't. It really hasn't bothered me. I guess me and the girls just weren't that close!

I can't believe the outpouring of love and support from all my family and friends. Everyone keeps telling me how great I look! I guess now people see my face since there aren't any boobs in the way! LOL

Not much to up date from today. I rode into town with Mom. It was nice to get out for a while. Had another amazing meal brought to us. Frank went with us on our walk tonight, a bit further than what we went last night. I got to stock up on some hugs and kisses from Mattie and she called me to tell me good night too!

I know this cancer is part of God's plan for my life. I am still trying to figure out how I can get more people to make sure women are getting their mammograms and doing their monthly self checks. And God is such a part of this for me, I want to bring Him to more people through this too. I know there is a way. And I know God will lead my way, in his time. I just have to be patientt. And listen.

It's all going to be OK.

Until next time, God bless.

The Healing Continues

August 18,2012

It was mostly an uneventful day. Frank mowed at our house and at Mom's. Mom fixed breakfast and my Aunt Medrice made an amazing chicken spaghetti! I think Mom and I fought to lick the pan. Frank fixed the front door lock. Mom and I took two walks today. We watched a lot of TV and took lots of naps.

Such an exciting life! I think I'm going to pick up a book and read! I KNOW! SHOCK!!!

August 19,2012

Woke up at seven this morning, strange for me without an alarm!

Ugh! I really hate missing church. Phil is starting a new series today and I really wanted to be there for it. I guess it's best I didn't try to go. Although probably no one would say a word, I don't think it would be real appropriate for me to wear my yoga pants and pajama top to church and remember, I still can't raise my arms to fix may hair! I might have scared a small child if I had gone! Traci helped me get to the SoHills web site so I could listen live, but I didn't have all the plugins I needed so I missed it. Oh well, I can listen sometime this week from the archives. It's not like I don't have a lot of time on my hands!!

Part of our karate family brought us lunch and joined us as we ate. It was delish!!! We had a nice visit and the rest of the afternoon we had friends and family visiting. It was great. But the best part of the day was that Mattie May got to come home from her dad's for the summer. I just miss that little toot when she is gone even for an hour! She was the cherry on top to a perfect Sunday!

When Frank, Katie and Mattie went home for the evening, Mom and I took a walk (we are going a little further every day!)  then sat out on the patio until it got too dark. What a wonderful weekend I had.

It's all going to be OK!

Until next time, God bless!

I Can't Forget Roxanne

I have to tell the story of Roxanne, or what I can remember of it!

My day nurse was Ann and they changed shifts at seven. A CRNA came in telling me who she was and that she was going to take my vitals and that my nurse would be in later. We thought no big deal about it.

In a bit some one tapped on the door and came on in. She had dark curly hair and the happiest face I had seen in a long time. She said her name was Roxanne and she was my nurse for the night. She asked me what I had done and I told her. Her next comment took me by surprise for just a second and then I fell in love. She said "Oh you've got this! It's no biggy! I am a one year survivor, just on the last bit of my reconstruction. You are doing great and have nothing to worry about!"

Then she did all that she had to do then stood at the end of my bed and said "Now tell me your story!" It wasn't a request or an order, but something she knew I needed to do. So Frank and I began. She stayed with us about an hour and a half. When I finished my story I asked to hear hers. And we listened.

Her cancer was no great surprise as it runs in her family.She chose to have a bilateral mastectomy also with reconstruction after her treatment. When she finished her story, she looked me square in the eyes and said "You want to see them?!" Frank told her to wait until he could get out of the room! He walked Katie down to her car and Roxanne and I continued to talk.

Roxanne was the best medicine I could have had that night. God's angle dressed in blue scrubs and dark curly hair sent to help me through.

Frank and I both slept well that night. Thank you Roxanne.

It's going to be OK!

Until next time, God bless!

And So The Journey Continues...And It's Not Real Exciting, Yet

August 17, 2012

Frank slept at home again and I stayed at Mom's. Her house is just easier to get around in. It's bigger and she is a much better house keeper than I am! I hate cleaning! I woke about 7:30. I didn't sleep as well last night as I have been. These balls are really starting to be annoying! They stuck to me all night long and when I woke up this morning, one of the caps were poking into my arm. I tried to be a quite as I could when I got out of bed because Mom was still asleep which is strange for her, but she was awake shortly after.

I sent Frank a text to come on out when he got ready. Mom fixed us a wonderful breakfast of eggs, Canadian bacon and English muffins. It was so good.

Poppa called on his way into town, and I asked him to bring me some more gauze dressings so I could get a shower and clean jammies. We enjoyed visiting with him as always.

After he left, Frank went to help me shower. I learned very quickly, I can not do that by myself. We put a chair in Mom's shower and used the handheld shower head. He gave me one of the best hair washings I have ever had! And the shower was typical Frank and Brandi. He was sweating and I was shivering! It is true for us that opposites attract! I tried really hard not to get his clothes wet because he didn't bring any others with him. I decided that if I got him too wet, he could wear one of Mom's robes while we dried his clothes.

The toughest part of the shower was changing the dressing where these tubes are attached. Not fun! I'm not sure where the hospital gets their surgical tape but it must be a Super Glue product! I think it pulled off a layer of skin. The scariest part was Frank was having trouble getting some of it off the tubing and we soon realized the gauze was wrapped around it!

After we got all the gauge off, he continued to help me clean. I really felt he missed his calling as a nurse! Other than him squirting me in the face and trying to drown me, it went well.

By the time he got me dried off, I was exhausted. I felt like an old lady!

We tried to watch some more movies but we both fell asleep. Mom made a lasagna for supper and Katie joined us again. We wanted to take another walk but the lightning prevented us from doing so. We watched a little (a lot) more TV then headed off to bed, Frank and Katie at home and Mom and I at her house. It was another good day.

It's all going to be OK!

Until next time, God bless!

Getting to Wake Up at Home

August 16, 2012

WOW! I slept until almost 9 AM! And I woke up with very little pain. The biggest pain of all are these stupid drainage tubes. I have three of them, one for each breast and a third where they took the lymph node They just get in the way. And they are not very comfortable to just let them dangle. They are surgically sewn in and they told me they won't just come out. But like I said, just a discomfort and in the way. And these "balls" have to be drained. Not our favorite thing to do, but it has to be done and the amounts recorded so I can take it to the doctor next Thursday.And Frank has really enjoyed adding some of his "man humor" about my balls as you can imagine!

It was a rather quite day. We had a few more visitors and Mom went to the grocery store. Frank and I napped a lot. Two sweet sisters from my Sunday Ladies class brought us supper. Katie joined us when she got off work. After we ate, we went for a walk up to the road. It was a nice night.

The funny for the day was Katie!

We are always trying to get her to go to school to be a nurse. She has a really caring heart and we have always thought she would be very good at it. Until tonight! Before they left for home, Frank was going to show her how to help me drain and measure these balls. She came to the restroom all ready to go. He showed her how to put some pressure on it before you take the cap off and then to turn it into...and that's as far as she got! Her face turned white and she had that "I'm fixing to puke" face and left the bathroom! We couldn't help but laugh. She came back and told us she really didn't think she could do it! It's all good. I can actually do it myself and Frank knows that. He's just insistent on helping me do it. We just enjoyed the laugh at our poor daughter's expense.

It is all going to be OK!

Until next time, God bless!

What About the Women Who Don't Have Anyone?

I've had something troubling me, and these are the only words I have to help me through:

I have such an amazing support group with my family and friends, it has got me to wondering, what do people do that have no one? And when I say no one, I am not necessarily talking about the friends and family that I have.

I know not everyone has the wonderful and supportive husband that I have. It takes a real man to wash his wife like a baby, cry with her when she cries for no reason, and makes her laugh just because he can. I know I have a very special man.

I'm not talking about children who grow up faster than they really want to because reality has hit them right up beside the head. Katie has really stepped up and taken charge in a few situations.

And I know not everyone still has their parents, or maybe they don't have a very good relationship with their mom or dad. I have both and both have been right by my side from them minute I told them about the lump I found.

I am an only child and I know others out there don't have siblings they can talk to either. But I have my cousins who have been here to keep me focused on what needs to be done, that I need to focus on me, and that wake me every morning with a funny video to make laughter an important part of my day.

And I have two very special aunts that have been constantly in prayer and making sure I do everything right. And uncles that have been doing the same.

And I have so many friends from school, work, bass clubs, church and karate that I don't even consider them friends any more, they are family. Family is so much more than blood.

I have had prayers, cards, letters, food, visits, phone calls... the list goes on and on. I will never be able to thank all these people nor let them know what the simplest of prayers have meant to me.

But of all these people, that is not what I am talking about.

What about the people that don't know my God?

I pray for these people. I worry about them. How do they go forward from the moment they find the lump? How do they tell themselves that everything will be OK? What do they have faith in? I know God will never forsake me. I know he is with me every step of this journey and that when there are only one set of footprints, they are his because he is in control. I know that as bad as this nasty cancer is, he has a plan for me.

How do those with no faith know they will be OK? I know that even if I die, I will live! That is my faith. God is that faithful. I know he has a plan for me, he tells me so in Jeremiah 29:11.

I am no Bible scholar, I have trouble finding the simplest of scriptures. But I know the story of Jesus. I know what he can do for you. And I just want to tell you, if you are one of these people that want to know my God, let me know. I would love to tell you what I know about Him. He is the greatest healer I know.

I think sometimes this is the plan He has for me. Maybe I can help you find the faith that you need to know what I know, and that is...

Everything is going to be OK!

Until next time, God bless!